You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
