drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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