maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
