Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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