His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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