I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
