Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
