Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
