this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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