so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
that may or may not have been my penis.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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