They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
