I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just want to make out with him forever
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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