conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
