Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
