then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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