its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize