Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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