I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
