Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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