ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
