Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just google imaged poop.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
