yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
