she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
