guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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