Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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