Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
