No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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