I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
