dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
it glows. i had to have it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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