Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
