My liver just broke up with me...
Can Purell be used as lube?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
