cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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