Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
