Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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