I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
