thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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