I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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