i barfeds in our rink
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize