I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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