in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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