next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
