Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
