I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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