I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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