No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
