She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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