You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
