Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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