What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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