just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
