Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
