If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can't put those talents on a resume
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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