Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
