You smell like stripper and shame
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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