Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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