Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
