Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
