You're my little dorito
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
