Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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