don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
