I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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